Last week, I did a thing. A nervous, unsure, out-of-my-element thing but a much needed thing. I went to a writers’ conference. The Southern Christian Writers’ Conference, to be exact. You would think being in the field of fiction writing for 13ish years, this would be a given and I’ve attended several local conferences but this was my first, bigger conference and my first Christian writers’ conference.
Now, let me give you some backstory. When I wrote “Higher Honor” and published it 13 years ago, the Christian fiction market was vastly different. The fiction was very sanitary and sanitized and while I respected those sensibilities, and did my best to balance those expectations while maintaining credibility with my audience, I felt terribly out of place. To give an example, one forum I frequented, a writer commented that she absolutely couldn’t stand the profane word “Hard C+ rap”–that’s literally how she typed it. I didn’t live in that sanitaryworld and I felt judged. If I felt judged over the word “crap,” what would happen when I used the word “rape” (a far uglier word. A word that is the enemies nuclear weapon).
I realized quickly that what I wrote didn’t fit with the typical Christian fiction. It wasn’t horror, think Frank Perretti and Ted Dekker, and it certainly wasn’t bonnet romances. I classify it as military fiction since the main setting is a military college (in homage to the University of North Georgia) with a dash of romance and a truckload of trauma. It’s gritty. So, I backed away from traditional Christian fiction because I felt like I didn’t belong and that feeling continued the years.
Well, I was wrong. Someone send this to my husband, he won’t believe it.
At the Southern Christian Writers’ Conference in Birmingham, Alabama, I met so many wonderful, insanely talented writers who put the gritty, ugly truth out there I’m looking at you, Candice). There has been a shift in the attitude toward trauma, anxiety, and life’s messes. Writers now talk openly about abuse, trafficking, insecurities without trying to dress it up with a pretty bow or pretending “just pray more” will magically fix everything. Do not get me wrong. Praying is critical and we can never pray too much, but when a person says “I’m not okay. The (depression, anxiety, trauma) is winning today,” they need to be heard, validated and understood. Because I can tell you, we’ve prayed without end and sometimes, praying hasn’t lifted us out of that darkness. Sometimes, the answer to those prayers are other believers who say “I get it and we’ll get through it together.”
I am so stoked the landscape has changed, especially as I rewrite “Higher Honor,” which deals with sexual assault. We don’t just acknowledge the feelings that come with depression, anxiety and trauma, we point to a life-giving, life-changing Heavenly Father who offers hope in those dark, desolate places because we know what He can do. We’ve experienced the healing, the renewel and we want to share that hope with others because we don’t want anyone to hurt like we’ve hurt.
So, I stand corrected (my husband really won’t believe I said it twice, LOL) and I am so thankful I went. I’ve made some great friends, learned some powerful lessons and I am motivated to get Higher Honor back in print.