I debated posting this as a blog. Originally, it was going to be a Facebook post. After all, my blog is for writing and Christian themed post (my goal was a writing blog, Christian world view blog, book review, and cut scenes– but it doesn’t always happen) and this didn’t seem to fit in any of those categories and this was just some happiness I wanted to share because sometimes, we develop a blindness to the progress.
Then I realized that this does apply both to writing and to our walk. Last week, everything discouraged me. My writing, my fitness goals—everything. My husband was out of town and although I relished to opportunity for my doggo, Saki, to sleep on the bed with me, I missed him. I lacked energy and motivation. Discipline went out the window as I nursed a pint of gelato and binged on Fire Country (because firefighters make everyone feel better, right?).
Interestingly, I was doing The A.R.T. of Survival, a daily discipleship from Chip Ingram at Living on the Edge, which focuses on James 1. “Count it all for joy…”
But I wasn’t. The scale hadn’t moved in weeks even though I was diligently working out and following my eating goals (I’m following a program called “Reset” and I find it very doable and not stressful). I felt like I was doing everything right and it wasn’t enough. So, there is the backstory. I planned my week-my writing days (and my weekly goals), my workout days, and my Reset days (two days a week, I eat high protein/low-calorie diet). On Monday, I went to the gym. Tuesday, I planned to write, but just couldn’t pull out my dreariness. I went to bed super early (which is somewhat better than a pint of gelato).
“Just tell me your happy news.”
Consider it all pure joy…whenever you face trials because the testing of your faith produces perseverance. James 1:2-3 paraphrased
Okay, okay, okay. I was looking at the Reset app and scrolled back to when I started on January 27 to see what my initial weight was (no, I’m not posting it). Then I scrolled to my last weigh in and I was still down 12 pounds and my “peak” (you know, the natural weight fluctuations) wasn’t hitting close to my start weight. It humbled me because, for several days, I’d been panicking, trusting myself, and discouraging myself. I had forgotten the journey because I was so focused on the moment.
I went to the gym and pushed it on the circuit. The 30-minute circuit at Planet Fitness takes the guess work out of my workout. Just follow the plan. I do the circuit one day and do a rope workout one day. My third workout day is flexible—I either groom horses or do the circuit at the gym. Grooming horses, btw, is a great workout, so is riding and that’s my ultimate goal, to get back in the saddle.
Back to the gym. At the end of my circuit, I did a balance exercise that we do in the dojo. I stood in a modified horseback riding stance and did a slow front kick, back kick, sidekick, roundhouse kick. Ideally, this is done slow, high and without putting your food down. I marked a 50% improvement from the last time I did it!
Here I was all moody and drowning in gelato when the progress was there. I just let my doubts blind me. Don’t we do that? Get distracted by everything going wrong and forget God is working in the background…for our good, to bring us closer to Him, to perfect us. I hope I’ve learned my lesson and won’t assume I’ve failed at life and instead trust God’s plan.
When you are feeling like a failure, when your writing or walk or whatever isn’t going quite the way you wanted, look back and remember you started. Slow progress is still progress. Happy writing!
Take aways: stay encouraged, trust God and the process.